Holing Up -- 1-31-09

This is recovery week. As expected, I'm not feeling so great. I'm congested, blistery, tongue and throat hurt, swallowing is difficult. Voice is hoarse; talking and eating are not pleasant, but the prednisone makes me hungry, so I am getting calories ingested. My wonderful hubby makes shakes and smoothies that go down well. Meds have prevented thrush so at least I don't have that added misery. I'm tired and want to go into a 'cave' and hide. I told my family they can throw food at me once in awhile but otherwise leave me alone. I have my books, movies, (super bowl commercials :), blankets, heating pad with me so I'll be holing up this weekend.

For the curious, I went to Gail, NAET/acupressurist (similar to acupuncture without the needles) yesterday. She works on my body so it doesn't resist chemo and treat it as an allergen. After chemo last time I had pain along my spine. I thought it was bone pain from the Neulasta shot. It wasn't. Gail said my body's energy meridians get sluggish and painful after traumas like the chemical onslaught, so she touched 'pressure points' all over my body to keep the energy flow going. I lay on a magnetic bed during the treatment and feel so relaxed and mellow, I don't want to get off! Afterwards, she taught me to tap on my collarbone and breast bone to activate my immune system. Perhaps my white count won't drop so low. She also showed me how someone could run their hands down my spine on each side, using light pressure, so the pressure points/meridians remain open. Jay is getting good at doing this; it really alleviates the pain along my spine. I'm utterly grateful as last time I suffered through ten days of pain, thinking it was all bone pain. Now I know it wasn't all from the Neulasta shot.


I'll end with a week of gratitudes, some 'angels' who have deeply blessed me, some wonderful 'red bird' sightings (birds without feathers, that is!). I will not name names because I'll forget someone and that is unbearable to me. You know who you are, dear ones.

...sun rises, sun sets....rosy skies dotted with deep royal blue clouds.
...a completely ordinary day!
...a walk at Overlook rink with a friend
...sunshine, beautiful sunshine!
....painting pottery with all my daughters.
....ham, green beans ...ummmm!
....salad, fresh beautiful, crunchy, gorgeous salad. I crave salad. Not easy to eat with a sore mouth, so I eat with love and careful swallowing.
...snow, white and lovely.
...slipping, but not falling on ice.
...dogs playing in the yard, pouncing on balls.
...a huge box of food delivered with a smile. Spinach, dill mashed potatoes.
Flavor my irritated tongue can taste!
...warm apple pie. The smell alone is divine.
...a card with a red feather enclosed. Tears.
...mystery teddy bear
...dear ones reading to me when I'm too weary to read to myself
...laughter; dear ones who make me laugh.
...cards, lovely, beautiful, funny, loving, absurd, inspirational cards.
...clean house; 'angels' helping me clean
...gift of a cd. Lovely song. More tears.
...finishing my school report. Whew...took more energy than I thought.
...finding new friends who also have cancer.
...a walk at the mall with friends.
...puppy, Teo laying on my legs now, not on my belly; does he know the tumor has shrunk?
...a clothes shop sales woman telling me I looked fabulous with my hat, scarf, matching earrings and shirt. What a shock! Trendy clothes shop sales people never notice me.
...cards from little angels, full of stickers, colors and tape.
... a night of unmedicated sleep.
...dirt on my kitchen floor. Life is going on normally!
...keeping down raw vegetable juice; mixtures of cabbage and parsley and cucumber and celery.
Not your tasty V8.
...one more week of having to take the vile goldenseal and stillingia mixture.
...grateful, oh so grateful ...chemo doesn't taste bad!!


Joyfully,
Sharon