For two days the farmer and I deadheaded grass in the wildflower plot. There was a lot of grass competing with flowering plants there. And, every time I grabbed a seed head it released a puff of pollen. The puffs were amazing! I remember waving my arms over grasses as a child just to marvel over the pollen clouds. I didn't know the clouds were pollen; I thought the grasses were magic! My sinuses are not as thrilled as I am over pollen though.
Why do we bother doing all that extra work? I don't know, maybe because we dream of the time that our state will be fully open and visitors can come to share in the wonder of our flowering meadow. Maybe because we're a little OCD. Maybe because we just like to tend natural things. I peek into bluebird boxes with the same wonder that I experience seeing bursts of grass pollen flash and settle over the meadow.
What have you marveled over this week?
Photo: Shooting Star Wildflower Garden. Baby Blue Eyes and Five Spots are almost over, a few Crimson Clover blossoms are visible as main plants are almost ready to burst into bloom.
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| Strawberry Spinach in my garden. Gardening gives me something to focus on when times are difficult. |
June 4, 2020
This memory came up on my personal timeline 4 years ago. While I am not at the same place, and have adjusted quite well to our move here, I often think of the book that I wrote about in this post. I may pull it off my shelf and read it again. It feels like our society is collapsing. There can be good in collapse, at least I sure hope we are witnessing the beginning of the real collapse of systematic racism. There is so much to remain present and conscious to as we navigate these uncharted waters, but for now, I will stop writing and simply offer this bit of past writing....
(June 2, 2016)
Reading the book Collapsing Consciously -Transformative Truths for Turbulent Times. An interesting concept in the book is how humans often long for things to remain the same, or go back to times we've felt happy, rather than seeking resilience and creativity during challenges. Goes on to describe how we'll need such during the challenges of climate change and economic collapse.
Reading the book Collapsing Consciously -Transformative Truths for Turbulent Times. An interesting concept in the book is how humans often long for things to remain the same, or go back to times we've felt happy, rather than seeking resilience and creativity during challenges. Goes on to describe how we'll need such during the challenges of climate change and economic collapse.
All of this speaks to me right now. Since our move 3 months ago, Jay and I have adjusted to many things. Leaving our birthplaces, the Landis family farm of almost 200yrs, children and grandchildren, retiring from crop farming, leaving old communities and health care professionals, plus being in each other's space most of the time. I didn't realize the latter would be such an adjustment. 
All of it has been both exhilarating and heartbreaking.
All of it has been both exhilarating and heartbreaking.
In my lesser moments, I wallowed in wishing things could go back to the way they were. I also knew I could hold all of this, even allow myself to regress or be frustrated, without too much judgment - hold it all while practicing deep gratitude - mentally, if not felt. In between frustrations then, a joy deeper than happiness rises in me, at the sight of rolling hills, the smell of freshly picked strawberries, wildflowers, a strong sense of love from family and friends. Joy despite the sorrow of saying goodbye to my family after a lovely holiday together, the awful gorilla/child incident and subsequent FB rants, superbugs, UCLA shootings, trafficking, politics, TICKS on our property and really mourning the loss of my former, beautifully remodeled kitchen.
One of my favorite quotes from the book mentioned above is this: ".... this grim description outlines several kinds of behaviors and emotional states we might expect to see among the psycho-spiritually unprepared as collapse intensifies. And we can be certain they will not be assuaged by massive caches of food, weapons, or an extensive library of books in an underground bunker."
So, I invite you, while reminding myself, to tend your self-awareness. Allow yourself to feel what you feel without so many 'shoulds' and judgments. Build your internal resources, practice self-soothing, deep listening, and truth-telling with friends and family, journal, have ongoing daily stillness and prayer practices that provide grounding and centering in the midst of chaos. Build community, learn many skills, protect the earth, know your neighbors, help each other, be kind. Prep if you must, but don't forget to tend your internal resources, and your communities too.
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June 5, 2020
"Nobody's free until everybody's free." Fannie Lou Hamer
Photo: Altar at my church, June 3, 2019. The above quote was from our bulletin.
We spent three hours tending the wildflower garden this morning. Weeding, planting, sowing more seeds in bare spots. Our work was graced by a Red-headed Woodpecker preening on a nearby fence, and a pair of tree swallows building a nest in a cedar box at the garden's entrance. On the opposite side, a bluebird male sat atop his nest with a female hopefully sitting on 5 eggs inside. We also watched a doe leave the hollow along our lane, where her fawn lies hidden. She hesitates, watching us; we are friends to fawns not foes but she is naturally cautious. And the butterflies, ah the butterflies...
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