28 ACTS of KINDNESS, in honor of the 28 lives lost in Sandy Hook

My friends on Facebook know I’ve taken up Ann Curry’s challenge to do 26 acts of kindness as a way of doing something to express deep sorrow over what happened in Sandy Hook.  Only I'm going to make it 28.   I quote my FB status of Dec 21^st:  The shooter’s mother is also a victim, and the shooter himself is human too. His actions represent our shadow, mine and ours collectively, the parts of us we deny- our own capacity for unkindness. God help us heal, help us be aware, help us awaken.

So today, even as the president of this country and congress wrestles with gun control, I feel it’s time for me to address the most difficult. Today I attempt to remember the shooter and his mother.  I wrestled with how to write about this for a while, not wanting to offend anyone, not wanting to add to the shooter’s desire for fame or pass judgment on his mother.  And not wanting to add to the fray of gun control. 

My kindnesses of today will be less specific than other days.  But, whatever I do today, I do with as much sincerity and depth as any other day.  I do them in memory all 28 lives lost.

Here is my list of kindnesses:

1.       For weeks I listened attentively to all sides of the gun control issue.  I educated myself by reading and researching what intelligent people on ALL sides of this issue are saying from NRA and gun enthusiasts to gun haters, mental health issues, media violence, the need for fame, and gender issues of our times. I listened deeply to what my own mind and heart wanted to express and only then did I craft letters to our president and my local government representatives.  I am not very political and seldom write such letters.  This was a big challenge for me.  

2.      My husband and I locked up the 22 rifle. This was kept in the farm coat closet within easy reach for various on-the-farm uses, but now we have grandchildren.  We don’t want even the slightest chance that a grandchild could find the 22 and attempt to play with it. I made sure the shells/bullets for all the guns are stored in a different location.

 

3.      I sent a copy of the book Real Boys to a mother with a new son.  I will keep giving this book as a baby gift and will promote it as often as I am able.  Our society is failing boys at an alarming rate.  This is one way I take responsibility to do something, anything to help.

 

4.      I will do my own shadow work so that I understand my own capacity to do violence.  Every unkind thought, judgment or harshness lurking in my unconscious will be projected onto others in some way unless I open myself to knowing my shadow. 

Some have asked me why I am doing these kindnesses so thoroughly and thoughtfully.  I confess that sometimes I want this all to be over. I’m tired of feeling sad, of looking at yet another beautiful person killed by senseless violence.  The children’s photos and stories especially get to me.  My grand-daughter is five and in kindergarten- so close to the victims’ ages.  My sister teaches early education.  I know many other beautiful teachers.  It feels so close, but then I think of the actual families of all the victims, know their pain will continue long after I am done with my official kindness count, and I find renewed energy to do what I’ve promised.

My own heart felt shattered after hearing the first news report.  This time, I really needed to do something other than feel helpless, so I joined the 26Acts cause. For me personally: these kindnesses are deeply felt and thought out rather than instinctive and random. I choose to share my kindnesses, not for self -promotion, but to celebrate each life and honor our grief over this incredible loss. I do this to acknowledge my own capacity for both kindness and unkindness, to hone my abilities toward greater kindness and to stand in solidarity with those who are asking the difficult questions of our culture and news coverage. I want to focus on love rather than fear and hate.

Join the cause and spread loving kindness,

Sharon

 

'I tell you the truth, when you did it to one of the least of these my brothers and sisters, you were doing it to me!'  Matthew 25:40

 I'm being transformed by these 26acts (28acts for me) of kindness. My research into the precious lives lost at Sandy Hook, and the countless people across the world doing 26acts is overwhelmingly beautiful. The news reports mostly negative acts and things to fear, yet countless miracles of love are given and shared quietly, every second of every day. I hope I remember this whenever I'm tempted to be cynical about social media.   Facebook status Dec 24, 2012