"In the broken places, the light shines through."
"Forget your perfect offering.
There is a crack in everything, and that's how the light gets through." ~ Leonard Cohen
I've experienced a wonderfully, moving weekend. A trip to Charlottesville's 'Front Porch' on Friday night to hear Indiscriminant Lovers - the music of Leonard Cohen - by Trent Wagler and Derek Kratzer. Deep bass, guitar, banjo, and soulful vocals.
Saturday afternoon was a matinee at James Madison University for a Pop Opera, "Bare." I had no idea what I was getting in for - a dark, powerful, moving production by some extremely talented students. I mostly went along with my fellow drama-loving daughters. I have never cried at a live performance until yesterday. I feared I'd have to walk out of the auditorium to collect myself.
Then Sunday morning, at church, another performance by Trent and Derek sharing the music of Leonard Cohen. Included in the service was a litany of prayer: Jesus Wept.
John 11:35 Jesus wept.
This has become is my favorite verse in the Bible. As a melancholy child born into the era of distrust of emotion and the power of positive thinking, I was always ashamed of my emotions and tears. So I hid them. I hid them for so long my immune system actually attacked my tear ducts and made them stop producing tears. Though I feel and think deeply, I seldom cry. What a loss to have your body not connect to your deepest self!
I admire artists who help me heal, bring me back to my own gift of melancholy, and the ability to shed soul washing tears. And, sometimes, it's most healing to lament together, in public.
I confess I don't always 'get' poetry, or Cohen's song lyrics but the music and words stir a deep pool in me. In church this morning, helping to sing along to Hallelujah "Love is not a victory march. It's a cold and it's a broken Hallelujah," I understood on a deeper level just how gritty love is; how so few of us open ourselves to our deepest capacity for love and grief. True emotions are so much more than positive thinking. Trent mentioned that Cohen wrote 80 verses to this song. He struggled with it! People have been trying to figure out the lyrics ever since. I love that we struggle with him. Sometimes our wrestling is not supposed to be understood by the mind. And as Cohen's music shows - even in our struggles, humor and joy can be found in the midst.
Perhaps this is what attracts me to mosaics. Brokenness turning into beauty. Cracks letting in the light. Love and hope in the darkness.
“We're all just walking each other home.” ― Ram Dass
Photo: "Bluebird" - my first glass mosaic using small pieces broken and shattered rather than precision cut
