Why Post On Facebook?

Do you ever sit through an inspirational message and while completely paying attention to the speaker, an inner conversation also pulses through your brain? Yesterday, at church, I found myself listening deeply to what was being said aloud, and what I was processing on the inside. 

During the children’s sermon, Carrie talked about being present, how we often miss experiencing things that are happening in the moment because we’re too focused on waiting for the next thing to happen. She mentioned getting a Christmas tree with her family, waiting to find the right one, waiting to chop it down, waiting to get the tree home, waiting for the kids to hurry up and find the candy-cane decked tree. She was cold and tired of waiting.  

Later that evening, while looking at her photos of the described event that she posted on Facebook she realized her family had a truly wonderful experience. 

Why didn’t she enjoy it more while actually experiencing it?

https://giantsandpilgrims.com

This really resonated with me. I often enjoy going through my own Facebook photos…. later. 

Dare I admit sometimes because there is only the rosy glow left, minus the noise, impatience and hassle!

In all fairness, as an “HSP,” I can be overwhelmed by ALL that is contained in one moment. Thus I allow myself to focus on one thing, say the aroma of a field of pine trees, the eyes of my grandchild, and then I miss lots of other good things.

(An HSP is a highly sensitive person often described as having hypersensitivity to external stimuli, a greater depth of cognitive processing, and deep emotional response.) 

Enjoying my life later, through Facebook, is a way to savor, to re-experience some of the details I missed. Another coping mechanism innately used by many in therapists, counselors, doctors, service workers is compartmentalizing thoughts and emotions to unpack later, when in a quiet, safe environment. In my special room, I journal, make art, or do some releasing body work like doing yoga or foam rolling. This makes me a good listener to the joys and agonies of the human experience, but it also makes me miss my own life while I’m paying attention to others’ lives. Again, Facebook helps me realign with my own life.

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  Then there is the low energy often felt by HSPs after       
  stretches of over stimulation. And the overwhelm of trying to
  print and sort tons of photos into real albums that someone 
  is going to have to throw away after I’m gone; Facebook 
  seems easier. Often accused of being lazy in the past, or
  too reserved and unspontaneous, I believe such holding
  back helps me compensate, and even out life's ups and  
  downs.


Yet, I wonder about my Facebook habits. Maybe it’s that annoying depth of cognitive processing, but I’m often conflicted about what to post: do I want to share this, or not, am I remembering everyone’s birthday, am I posting equal photos of my family so no one thinks I have favorites, why do I post photos and others don’t, do I post out of a need for attention or for connection, from compulsion or from an open heart, can I abstain from Facebook for days/weeks without feeling unease? No wonder the speaker’s comments regarding Facebook set off even more cognitive processing!   

I’d love to hear your thoughts - why you engage or only lurk on social media, post photos or choose not to do so.  Does abundance of time or lack of it help you decide, or privacy concerns, or overwhelm over politics and fake news?  What do you find healthy about social media, unhealthy?

Do you also find yourself waiting until later to fully experience something? I get how we often fear intimacy and hold back. I’m not a therapist but it feels like normal humanness to fear overwhelming emotions, vulnerability, pressure and the messiness of human interaction. Facebook can be an easy out, interaction with others that is often too tidied-up, too false and just the pretty stuff posted. Of course, there’s a whole other side of FB, enough for many more blog posts, all the ugly rude comments, trolling, falsehoods, all the causes and woes out there. How much do we engage and ignore? I’ll be living all these questions continually, finding balance rather than answers.   

Whether active on social media or not, learning to be more present to life can increase our tolerance of the human condition in all its beauty and grittiness. Being present can deepen our art making, our experiencing the beauty of the earth, the marvels of our senses, and the joy of being alive right now, rather than simply waiting for the next good thing.

Sunrise over Starry Meadows ~ Stephanie Landis photography

Resources if you wonder if you are an HSP

“Sensitivity is strength. Its also your superpower!” Anna Holden   https://sensitivityuncensored.com/

Safari Search – “An HSP is a highly sensitive person often described as having hypersensitivity to external stimuli, a greater depth of cognitive processing, and deep emotional response.”

Book -The Highly Sensitive Person: How to Thrive When the World Overwhelms You   by Elaine N. Aron 

Another good book - Quiet: The Power of Introverts in a World That Can't Stop Talking      by Susan Cain

Good info on this website, though psychologists say HSP is not a disorder. What Does It Mean to Be Hypersensitive?  Some signs of hypersensitivity include the following: High level of sensitivity to physical (via sound, sigh, touch, or smell) and or emotional stimuli; More likely to suffer from asthma, eczema, and allergies; Easily overwhelmed by too much information. 

https://www.additudemag.com/hypersensitivity-disorder-with-adhd/