Over the weekend, I returned to Kairos School of Spiritual Formation, for a silent retreat, held on the lovely grounds of the Jesuit Center in Wernersville, Pa.
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| photo from Jesuit Center website |
Twelve years ago, I arrived here as a student, eager, driven by spiritual longing I couldn't name, hoping for study, depth, friendship, even a vision quest. I experienced all, and so much
more!
Five years later, I emerged transformed, soul afire, the red bird as my own token symbol of the Holy: a gentle reminder to turn towards what is life giving, embrace mystery and transformation, know my self with kindness, and discovering connection and how everything somehow belongs. Here, with the deer in the meadows, bird song from every tree, the wide sky filled with stars, amid marble and stained glass of chapel, hallways filled with an equal measure of art and prayer, combined with the intimacy of soul friends, and loving guidance - this place always welcomes me home.
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| Weeping Beech Tree at Jesuit Center- my sanctuary when the journey became too intense. Lovely, wise old tree that sheltered me, wept and laughed with me, invited me to climb into her lap like a child. |
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| Truck of Weeping Beech |
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| farewell cairn |
Three more years of being on staff followed. This allowed me to guide others in their soul journey, to love students and retreatants with the same abundance of love I received here, and to forge deep soul connections across a wide network of instructors, retreatants, students, guides....all fellow pilgrims.
Now, it's time for a gentle, sweet goodbye, not in a final way, in an 'end of an era' way. So I bless and thank, and carry this place with me as another symbol of safety, like God's womb in the midst of life's upheavals.
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| Entrance to the labyrinth- white feathers symbolize the soul's migration- like snow geese - coming home. |
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| labyrinth walk by candle light |
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Paper cranes, picked up from the center of the labyrinth, and written with prayers/hopes for soul and world,
and hung on ribbons around the room. |
I LOVE THIS SONG, shared by the retreat director this weekend, called Return Again. Where ever we wander, however far we stray from what gives us life and depth, we can always return again. I can return to the place of real shelter, the quiet place in my own center, where God abides. Where I am my deepest me, open, authentic, safe and free.
Return Again
Return again. Return again.
Return to the land of your soul.
Return again. Return again.
Return to the land of your soul.
Return to who you are.
Return to what you are.
Return to where you are.
Born and reborn again.
Return again. Return again.
Return to the land of your soul. by Shaina Noll
With love, laughter, hugs, a little fire, a little wine, and a big-hearted impromptu ceremony, my friends and I celebrated our time together here, as friends, as staff, as soul pilgrims journeying together. Using John O'Donahue's poetry, we blessed my moving to a new state; we blessed my friend's new job position. Deep in the heart of this place, we sang and danced to the sound of a wood flute.
And we left each other with this challenge from
Christine Valters Paintner's book,
The Soul of the Pilgrim,
"What would it be like to move through the world and, no matter where you found yourself, to recognize yourself as fully at home?
Wow, that is challenge! My body isn't always happy with changes of food and environment. Probably because I still make unfair demands of it, when away from home. I regress into old patterns of ignoring or disliking my sensitivities, my introversion and need for space, thus forcing myself to be with people and activities long after I'm drained of energy. How lovely would it be to move into the world with compassion for myself as well as others, to be so completely authentic, free and self-caring, that I am home in my body and soul, anywhere my feet trod.
Whatever culture I find myself in.
Where ever the coordinates of my place of residence.
I shall pilgrim on ....always returning to the land of my soul
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