Thank-you for Your Life, Little Bird

One day while putting Jude in the swing, I almost stepped on a bird. Startled, I squealed. Jude looked down and saw the young bird, dead, awkwardly splayed out in the grass. 

     "What's wrong with the bird?" 

      "The bird died." 

His expression turned quite sad, so I deliberately pushed him high enough that he couldn't look over the buckle bar on the toddler swing to see the bird below. As he swung, he shouted no gleeful chant - yook out beyow! - as usual. Instead, he quietly asked.

   

     "Why do birds die?" 

I point out almost everything of nature to him  - the starling's chrr-chrrr warning other birds away from the nest. The dance of a sparrow attracting a mate. The long, mournful call of doves. Jude listens and notices with me. Today, for the first time, we must notice death. I really wasn't in the mood for explaining death. I didn't want to answer questions, or have him help me put the bird in a box and bury. Nor did I want him to watch Papaw throw it on the compost pile. 

I still haven't really answered his questions about how birth. How Aunt KK will get the baby out of her belly. I remember mumbling something about a special place in the body for birthing babies, without providing details. One of his favorite books is Once Upon a Potty; it's a toddler's delight with it's mind-numbingly numerous references to body places and body functions. I confess after a month of reading, I hid the book!  But I did love how the book provided me with a simple explanation for birth too. 

Remembering, I took the simple route for the death question too. 

      "I don't always know why birds die. Maybe it fell out of the tree, or didn't get enough to eat. When I get too sad about birds dying I just say - Thank you for your life, little bird."   Jude pondered this for a few seconds.

    "Why?"   

     "Because when something dies, it's important for us to notice. Because I'm thankful for life, and because it helps me feel better."  I looked down as I answered, carefully avoiding stepping on the bird's body as I pushed. And from the highest arch of swing, drifting down on wisteria scented breezes, came the sound of a small boy's happy voice.    

     "Tank you for your yife, yiddle bird." 

Completely Normal Power Struggle Angst

Our small boy, grandson, darling child, is three. Every parent, nanny, grandparent knows....a three year old is adorable, expressive, demanding, bossy, stubborn, full of -    

            I want to do it       
                         MYSELF! 

- and wails of  "'Dis is mine!" or "Yeave me a-yone; I haff to do my werk!" 

One minute a 3yr old is high-fiving after success on the potty, or wanting to snuggle with you, and the next minute defiant
and hauling back an arm to hit some one or some thing. 

In the midst of all this completely-normal-power-struggle angst, they throw out endearing expressions that melt your heart and make you want to hug them forever. (If they'd let you!)

Yesterday, after lunch, I sang this ditty to my grandson when he stubbornly refused to finish his milk: 


 
        "Drink your milk and drink it all 
          then you will grow strong and tall." 

 Songs often change a toddler's disposition, (and mine, to be honest) especially my song-loving grandson. Thankfully, I know a song for almost every mood or situation. Surprisingly, the milk music ditty didn't work, so I upped the ante by name dropping. And whisper singing the sneaky addition. Whispering usually works for me too. 

            "Drink your milk and drink it all,
              then you will grow strong and tall.....like Avery."


Mentioning Avery, the older, stronger, longest admired cousin really got the small boy's attention.  He picked up the glass, put it to his lips, but didn't drink.                




I had to go higher on the power and adoration chain. And use the opposite of whispering. It's all about timing, sound, facial expressions....drama, in other words. Drama is  EVERYTHING  to a toddler. 

              "Drink your milk and drink it all,
              then you will grow strong and tall.....LIKE PAP!!!"

Notice I didn't say Papaw, my husband, and the man across the table from Jude. Absence does truly make the heart grow fonder when it comes to grandparents. 

BINGO!!  Small boy downed his milk in breathless, gulping 
swallows.  After coming up for air, and with a ginormous
milk mustache, he exclaimed,

        "Oh yeah, becuz, Pap is WAY miles BIG!!"